life randomness and choices

I spent the weekend in Sacramento at my aunt Sue's house. It was sooooo good to be away for a couple of days. We haven't spent much time together for several years. Some things happened that made it difficult....I can't get into it, it's the past and way too painful to bring up here. She bought this house a few years ago and I hadn't been there. It's lovely, she's decorated it so nicely and has a big back yard with a banana tree, grapefruit tree, orange tree, vegetable garden, pond and fountain. I love it. Being there made me realize once again that I really, really want a house of my own for me and my little family. On Sat before I went away I went to two parties at friends houses, they have their own places and I felt the yearning...

Also while away I found myself thinking a lot about what I will do after the baby is born. Where do I want to live? What is most important to me? How do I want my life to look? I think top importance is a better quality of life and friends/family close by. Quality of life for me means work that I like, enough income to buy a house and not be constantly struggling, an area that has quality food available, good schools, a creative community, art/film/music, liberal politics, good transportation. I just don't know anymore where this place is. I've found that I'm not as in love with the Bay Area as I used to be. Maybe it's changed a lot or I have. An aunt recently moved to England and my mom and step father want to move back. Maybe this is the place? There is a tiny chance of an amazing job for me there within the next year. If that comes true then I think I would go there. My cousin want's me to share an apartment with him in Hollywood. I don't know that I'm up for that anymore, L.A. is awful unless you have a great job and lot's of money. He would be a great, positive male influence for my daughter and he loves kids. 

I can't really make a choice now. I have to make it work in my current situation for at least 6 months. My housemate bugs me already and it's only been two weeks. Her eating disorder is proving to be more of an issue than I thought it would be. She's recently started questioning me about my finances and it's totally inappropriate. Last week I asked her to write a letter stating how much rent I pay, when I moved in and how much I paid to move in. I mentioned that it was for Medical, that I had to report my new address. She' been asking questions since then like " have you had problems bouncing checks in the past?" "Do you do a lot of under the table work so you can get medical?" and almost every morning"Do you have a job today?". I was very honest with her at the interview. I told her that I work freelance as a Makeup Artist and also do temp office work. Sometimes I work a lot and sometimes not at all. Also, because I'm pregnant I will have to stop working at some point for a few months, at that point I will be getting some assistance. She was fine with all of that and wanted me to move in. I truly hope this situation can get better and more comfortable. She is hard to be around so when she's home I stay in my room most of the time. I will try to be more compassionate with regards to her eating disorder and ask her not to ask me personal questions about my finances.